


Never Meant to Be

by Beledi



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-25 00:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beledi/pseuds/Beledi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love knows no bounds. Apparently love didn't get the memo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Meant to Be

**Author's Note:**

> For JolinarJackson, with the following prompt: Ianto confesses to Jack about hiding Lisa before Cyberwoman happens. What happens?

"Ianto, another coffee please!" The voice came from the main area of the hub. A chorus of agreement from the other members followed immediately after. 

Quickly and nimbly, Ianto plucked a cup from the dish tray and brusquely set it under the opening of the coffee maker. Everybody these days seem to be addicted to Keurig. He flipped the machine on and it began gurgling. It's another day. 

The cup filled with steaming hot liquid, and Ianto replaced the cup under the machine almost mechanically, his mind going adrift as his hands continued about their business. The tray soon filled with steaming cups, and a heaping pile of donuts dutifully followed along. Like a butler, Ianto precariously balanced the tray piled with donuts and drink, and made his perilous journey into the main area of the hub. He stopped by Owen first. "My liege," he said with a facetious flourish, before handing the cup to Owen.

"Thanks," Owen said absentmindedly, automatically accepting the proffered cup. Without acknowledging Ianto further, he turned back to his workstation. Ianto then dropped by other members' workspaces, one at a time. Everyone else seemed to accept their drinks with the same zombie-like countenance. 

Well, there I am, everyone's favorite delivery boy, Ianto thought with a snort. 

The air of simple dismissal used to bother Ianto. Although he had yet to accompany the group on missions, he was most certainly capable of holding his own-- that everyone gravitated toward him when their need for caffeine surfaced provided more than testament to that. Now, however, he supposed it was for the best that it turned out this way. 

"Are those jelly donuts?" 

Ianto broke out of his reverie at Jack's sudden appearance. Without waiting for a reply, Jack grabbed a donut and shoved half of it in his mouth with gusto. 

"Careful there," said Ianto, with a look of amusement on his face. "It'll show on you one of these days."

Jack had the decency to look properly indignant. How he managed with his face stuffed like an animal preparing for hibernation, Ianto didn't know. 

"I'll have you know--" Jack said, "--that this--" he gestured at himself, "--is perfection." Before Ianto could comment, Jack hastily added, "and it'll stay perfection." As if to prove a point, Jack swaggered back to his office with a cuppa in one hand, and an extra donut in the other. 

***

Ianto's heart beat furiously against his ribcage. It always did when he descended into the basement. The sound of his heart palpitating grew louder in his ears with each step he took. He couldn't stop wiping his hands on the fine fabrics of his suit, and he often wondered if it was in fear, or anticipation. His legs carried him farther and farther down the corridor, until he stood in front of an overwhelming looking entrance. The other members were a bit preoccupied-- there was a supernatural pig running rampant through Cardiff. Ianto supposed that was tame compared to some other extraterrestrial beings Torchwood has had the pleasure of meeting. 

Is there anything I could do while you're out there, Ianto asked earlier. No, no, Gwen replied, jamming a gun God-knows-where on her person. I think we can manage. Thanks though, Tosh called as she got her materials ready. The hub quickly emptied and Ianto found himself staring up at the ascending invisible lift. 

The sound of the lock turning resonated throughout the corridor. With slightly trembling fingers, Ianto undid the bolt, and with a shaky breath, he pushed through the door. 

There she was. Even though she was on all the life support systems Ianto could possibly have her on, Lisa was still resplendent. His breath always caught when he lay his eyes on her, and he very often made a point of ignoring the dull pain on the left side of his chest. Always, without fail, he found himself lightly caressing Lisa's face, and leaning in until his lips met with hers. Sometimes, he would reach for Lisa's fingers, and he'd loosely twine his fingers with hers as he looked at her face. When he could help it, Ianto avoided the parts of Lisa that seemed superficially converted. That's not you, Ianto thought, hands tightening a little around Lisa's fingers. But you will win. I swear to you, you will defeat the Cyberman. He brought Lisa's fingers up to his lips and kissed each of them gently. 

Before he left the room, Ianto looked at Lisa's unconscious form. "Soon," he whispered. 

The door was then bolted, the lock was turned, and Ianto walked through the corridor, back up to the main part of the hub. Ianto pulled out his mobile.

"Hello, Jubilee Pizza? I'd like to place an order." 

***

The heart rate monitor pulsed steadily. Blip. Blip. 

"Stop with that," Lisa said. Her voice was rusty with disuse. 

"With what?" Ianto gripped her fingers tightly. 

Lisa's fingers twitched slightly against Ianto's hand. Her lips had the barest hint of a smile. "With that ridiculous look of yours." 

"I know. I just--"

"It's all right." Lisa's voice had a dream-like quality to it. "Eventually we'll be upgraded. Together."

Ianto's blood ran cold. "Come again," he said. His tongue felt like sandpaper. 

"Upgraded. Then we can be with each other forever." 

"I've got to go," Ianto said. His hands were sweatier than usual and he let go of Lisa's hand. "But I'll be back. Later. You must rest. But Lisa, please." His tone forced Lisa to open her eyes.  
"Yes?"

"Remember." Ianto's voice was tight with desperation. "Remember who you are."

Lisa smiled a full smile, filled with the warmth that Ianto once felt before the Battle of Canary Wharf ever happened. He could almost see Lisa as she was. 

"Of course," she replied. 

Ianto pretended to not hear the slight monotonic lilt in her voice. 

***

"Sir."

Jack looked up from the small mountain pile of manila folders on his table. He was wearing an outlandishly hideous pair of glasses. 

"Hey Ianto. What brings you to my humble abode?" Ianto could swear Jack's teeth practically glinted when he smiled. God. 

Ianto set down a cup of tea on an abstract corner of Jack's desk. He hesitated. "Well sir, I was wondering."

"Why wonder when you can try it out yourself?" Jack threw Ianto a saucy wink and waggled his eyebrows. It was all Ianto could do to keep himself from snorting. Those glasses did nothing for anybody, even the great Captain Jack Harkness. Which said a lot, really. 

"I'll take you up on the offer another day," Ianto said drily, and Jack let out a bark of laughter. "But er, there's something I'd like to know. About Cybermen." Before Jack could say anything, Ianto pressed on. "It just popped into my thoughts the other day, you know, about their conversions. Do you happen to know what goes on when... when they erase emotions from humans?"

Jack frowned. "Well, I'm sure you know that this basically controls the way we behave." He tapped his forehead. "And we have all these parts inside that controls all of these little things we do. For example--" he gestured to the side of his head, slightly above the tip of his ear, "--this area of the brain helps us create long term memories. And this place here--" he pointed to an area above his nose bridge, "enables us to make decisions. When Cyber conversions are made, they replace our biological data with technological data. Our brain doesn't tell the heart to send the blood anymore-- the cybernetic machinery does. And eventually, it's not blood that's being directed, it's pure electrical signals. If there's no blood to oxygenate the brain, and if Cybermen rely on the brain to function, then what sorts of signals do you think are getting sent to the brain? Which parts of the brain then respond?" 

Ianto's lips pressed into a thin line, and his head began to ache. Lisa never said anything like this, not even in the beginning, when she just came out of-- his thoughts broke off there. He massaged a pulsing throb at the side of his head. 

Jack studied Ianto, his expression unchanging. "You still thinking about the war?"

A little more than that, Ianto thought, but he cleared his throat and said, "Yeah, just a bit. It still feels like it only just happened sometimes. The feeling's a bit hard to shake off." He stared at Jack's teacup. 

"We've got to keep moving forward," Jack said. "We can't let the past get the best of us. That's how we win."

Ianto noticed before, but today especially, Jack's eyes looked so blue and clear; remarkably striking. And he felt that if he looked into those eyes a moment longer, that everything would burst from his chest and tumble out his mouth-- that he'd tell Jack about all the times he shut himself in the basement, that he'd tell Jack about _Lisa_ \--

"One more question though," Ianto said. He licked his lips. "What is the likelihood of a person retaining his humanity if he were partially converted? If he was still mostly human?" He couldn't tear his eyes away from Jack. 

Jack fiddled with a manila folder in his hand. "The only sure way to clean a computer of a virus is to do a clean install. Of course, you already knew that."

Did he? It was news to him. Or maybe it wasn't. Ianto gave Jack a small, tight bow in thanks, and let himself out of Jack's office. 

***

Ianto shot through Jack's door, a panicked look on his face. "Jack," he gasped. "It's Lisa, she--she's been acting less like herself these past few weeks, and I did some brain imaging scans-- she's still on the respirator-- limited mobility and all-- but her brain activity, oh god, her brain--" he sank down to his knees and buried his face in his hands.

If anything, Ianto Jones was very nearly always a composed man. He made it a point to arrive at the hub every day with his shirts crisp, his trousers pressed, and his ties expertly tied. His outward demeanor reflected his dress. And Ianto knew that in all the time him and Jack have been together, Jack had probably never seen him so harried and desperate. 

"Woah, calm down. What's going on?" Jack's voice sounded far, even though he was only a metre or so away from Ianto.

Breathing comes quite useful in these sorts of situations, Ianto found. It might work a great deal better though, if his lungs actually utilized the oxygen. 

"Let's get all this sorted out one at a time. Who's Lisa? What's going on?" Jack's voice sounded closer this time. 

Deep breaths. Ianto forced himself to look up at Jack. His palms were sweaty and a tremor ran down his back. His voice came out in a croak. "Please, you've got to help her. I'll do anything." His eyes felt puffy, and as he looked at Jack, he saw the pieces click together one by one in Jack's mind. The next moment, Ianto found Jack's hand fisted at the front of his shirt, and he was hauled up roughly.

"What the hell were you thinking? _You_ , of all people, should know better than this," Jack snarled. " _You_ , of all people, understand the consequences."

Ianto twisted out of Jack's hold and gave Jack a hard shove. "What would you have done? If it were you," he demanded, panting. 

Despite Ianto's actions, Jack took Ianto's face in his hands. "Ianto. Ianto, look at me! Remember what I told you last time!" 

"I did remember! That's why I monitored the activity in her brain. Sometimes, I'd do it when she was resting, and sometimes I'd do it when she had the energy to talk." Ianto's voice sounded half hysterical to his own ears. "The amygdala region looks damaged, and there seems to be something abnormal going on with the orbitofrontal cortex." Ianto's vision blurred slightly, and his face felt wet. "I can't lose her," he choked out. 

Jack put his arm around Ianto and drew him close. "You can't lose her," Jack said, "Not when she's been gone since the battle of the Canary Wharf."

  


End


End file.
